Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man A Memoir review ↠ 0

Bill Clegg Ñ 0 free download

It was eclipsed almost entirely by doom He also explores the shape of addiction how its pattern not its cause can be traced to the past Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man is an of an Addict as a Kindle utterly compelling narrative lyrical irresistible harsh honest and beautifully written from which you simply cannot look away 35 STARSThis is my first Audio book that I have listened to without also following along in an actual book I don t really know how I feel about it But I m going to do my best to explain First off this book was actually uite difficult for me to finish Multiple times I found myself debating whether to just stop listening and start a different book instead Why you ask Well because I m a recovering addict myself Currently I have 15 days short of 2 and a half years clean and sober Although crack wasn t my only drug of choice or even my main one this audiobook was extremely triggering for me Luckily I have been in recovery long enough to have made plans for such things in order to keep me from relapsing Not to mention my beautiful daughter who is now almost 10 months old She keeps me sober I know I have to do it for me and I do But my love for her is WAY powerful than my love for myself I honestly believe she saved my life even though she was born when I was already in sobriety THANK GODI don t care to go into detail as to what parts of the book triggered me but let s just say that it definitely had me thinking back to my past uite a bit Due to my personal bias with this book I feel as though I cann0t give a fair review so I am just going with my heart on this one I don t feel like I can really rate this book or say what to change or not change because this is a memoir you can t change your experiences Although I would ve liked the author to talk a little about how he got better and how he is doing today and the importance of getting help and not being ashamedeven if it wasn t part of his storymaybe at the end or something Addiction is such a real thingand let me tell you IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE

review Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man A Memoir

Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man A Memoir

Nearly his lifeWhat is it that leads an exceptional young mind want to disappear Clegg makes stunningly clear the attraction of the drug that had him in its Portrait of Kindle thrall capturing in scene after scene the drama tension and paranoiac nightmare of a secret life and the exhilarating bliss that came again and again until This was dreadful Not the writing which was effective and uite good but the picture it painted A dizzying memoir of the two month crack binge that defined rock bottom for a once rising star this was depressing paranoid confusion that was palpable Deeply sad my heart broke for Noah and I was disappointed to not hear him mentioned in the acknowledgementsthough it s interesting to note that my disappointment is suarely based on the author s depiction of him This is just a very sad cautionary tale Memoirs are a brave undertaking and this one felt both honest and effective 35 stars

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Bill Clegg had an Addict ePUB #9734 a thriving business as a literary agent a supportive partner trusting colleagues and loving friends when he walked away from his world and embarked on a two month crack binge He had been released from rehab nine months earlier and his relapse would cost him his home his money his career and very Bill Clegg had it all a glamorous prestigious job as a literary agent a handsome and caring indie filmmaker boyfriend a gorgeous Manhattan apartment a glittering social life J Crew catalogue model good looksBut he risked throwing it all away along with tens of thousands of dollars because of his addiction to crack cocaine a downward spiral he chronicles with frank honesty in the harrowing hard to put down memoir Portrait Of An Addict As A Young ManClegg interweaves tales of his scoring drugs he had several regular dealers but would also often simply get into a cab and ask Do you party with seuences from his childhood As a boy he suffered from a mysterious condition that prevented him from urinating normally this caused a rift between him and his father and provided a well of guilt shame and secrecy that followed him foreverAt 12 he stole a bottle of whiskey from his dad s liuor cabinet and drank it with a friend in the woods at 15 he began taking crystal meth regularly He graduated to pot smoking it daily before being introduced to crack in his mid 20s by a man nearly three times his age who also seduces him Here is part of Clegg s description of that first crack high He draws slowly as he sees the white substance bubble and pop in the flame A pearly smoke makes its way down the stem and he draws harder to bring it toward him Fitz tells him to go gently and he does Soon his lungs are full and he holds it the way he would hold pot smoke He exhales and is immediately coughing The taste is like medicine or cleaning fluid but also a little sweet like limes The smoke billows out into the living room past Fitz like a great unfurling dragon As he watches the cloud spread and curl he feels the high at first as a flutter then a roar A surge of new energy pounds through every inch of him and there is a moment of perfect oblivion where he is aware of nothing and everything A kind of peace breaks out behind his eyes It spreads down from his temples into his chest to his hands and everywhere It storms through him kinetic sexual euphoric like a magnificent hurricane raging at the speed of light It is the warmest most tender caress he has ever felt and then as it recedes the coldest hand He misses the feeling even before it s left him and not only does he want he needs it Amazing right Clegg certainly knows how to describe things There are scenes detailing such bad decisions that I felt like crying out for him to stop as I was reading them His paranoia is so extreme that he believes DEA agents and police are after him in collaboration with taxi drivers These suspicions are never proven or disprovenWhat s most satisfying is that Clegg never makes facile conclusions about why he s hooked on drugs He discusses feeling like an imposter he details his mother s bout with cancer and his parents separation But he is too smart to provide a direct link between these things and his need for self immolationEarlier this year Clegg published a seuel to Portrait called Ninety Days about his eventual recovery I want to read it He s such a perceptive writer and I m looking forward to discovering what he s learned But I think I ll wait until I ve fully recovered from the intensity of his remarkable first bookUPDATE I should have mentioned before that Clegg s then boyfriend Ira Sachs made a fictional film about this period in their lives from his point of view It s called Keep The Lights On and it s definitely worth checking out before or after reading this I reviewed the film upon release here


10 thoughts on “Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man A Memoir

  1. says:

    Heavy stuff and holy f Okay will try to give this a proper review This is one hell of a ride on the dark side of crack cocaine addiction While I usually like my addiction memoirs with a heavy heaping of recovery this focu

  2. says:

    One of the finest memoirs I’ve come across and I read a heck of a lot of them To be great a memoir has to plunk you right in the middle of a set of experiences that might be diametrically opposed to your own and make it a

  3. says:

    Bill Clegg had it all a glamorous prestigious job as a literary agent; a handsome and caring indie filmmaker boyfriend; a gorgeous Manhattan apartment; a glittering social life; J Crew catalogue model good looksBut

  4. says:

    This book was pretty engaging There is a train wrecky appeal and Clegg is pretty good with phrase I especially liked it when he described a woman's accent as trickyI would have liked it better if he had really reflected on the way his raceclass kept him out of jail While I was really fascinated by the idea that t

  5. says:

    This was dreadful Not the writing which was effective and uite good but the picture it painted A dizzying memoir of the two month crack binge that defined rock bottom for a once rising star this was depressing paranoid confusion that was palpable Deeply sad my heart broke for “Noah” and I was disappointed to not hear

  6. says:

    This is the story of a privileged white dude who apparently became addicted to crack than anyone has ever been addicted to crack ever before He blames this on his childhood which although not perfect is certainly no worse than the childhoods of countless people who have never smoked crack even once He treats all his friends and loved ones sho

  7. says:

    Sure I read it hence two stars and I read it uickly because 1 I'm addicted to books about screw ups AND 2 I'm constantly looking for something that will make me feel differently about this particular disease This memoir makes me sick I don't care about Bill Clegg's self indulgent childhood issues In fact they bore me He comes across as an insecure egotistical name dropper who clearly has a long way to go if in fact he i

  8. says:

    35 STARSThis is my first Audio book that I have listened to without also following along in an actual book I don't really know how I feel about it But I'm going to do my best to explain First off this book was actually uite difficult for me to finish Multiple times I found myself debating whether to just stop listening and start a different book instead Why you ask Well because I'm a recovering addict myself Currently I have 15 days short

  9. says:

    I admit that I am a sucker for stories about addiction You could even say I am addicted to them groan But now I know what I want for my last meal and it is a nice chunk of crack Really it sounds like something that everyone should experience once in a lifetime but can't for obvious reasons To paraphrase the poet it sounds like all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell Bill Clegg is a literary age

  10. says:

    Harrowing with a can't look away oh god I want to look away uality that fairly pulls the reader through the pages I know crack addicts but haven't read any accounts of the addiction from the inside and I found Clegg to be adept at giving a sense of what serious substance abuse must be like for the user The rampant paranoi

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