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REVIEW Ù TOBERMOREDRIVEWAYS.CO.UK Ø E.L. James

T Sie kommt von ihm nicht los Christian führt Ana ein in eine dunkle gefährliche Welt der Liebe – in eine Welt vor der sie zurückschreckt und die sie doch mit unwiderstehlicher Kraft anzieh 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015“Sex is than an act of pleasure it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it And at this moment you're a part of them 
 Author unknown 

I've had a rather long list of issues when I decided to abandon ship FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a paperback I would have burned the fucking offending thing It's a total mystery to me why this book ever saw the light of day because let's face it the writing is incredibly juvenile The story and characters are extremely poorly written and I couldn't for the life of me connect with the dumb clumsy naïve and immature heroine Also the slimy whacko didn't deserve to be called hero Christian is a highly manipulative abusive and stalker ish asshole His whispers didn't endear him to me either He came off as a total creep I honestly don't understand what Ana saw in him yet on the other hand I didn't get it why Christian would stalk that bland and vapid wallflower In any event these two deserved each other and Ana obviously enjoyed Grey's blunt and crude approachThe whole contract business was pretty much mind boggling I don't believe that a healthy and consensual Domsub relationship could be based upon such crappy and ridiculous rulesChristian the rich Superman sarcasm deflowered our wallflower in a way that's not even worthy of losing any words over that pathetic fuck So you did guess right I neither found the sex to be hot nor erotic AtAll Thus I'd better buy him a ticket to the next Mars expedition stat That would ensure that Mr Grey would not return to our cozy place called Mother EarthFSoG lacked depth and emotion big time Except of disgust and anger I felt nothing towards these pathetic main protagonists and their fucked up trip bored me to tearsThe winking smileys irritated the hell outta me and all that inner goddess shit made me almost blow a fuse JesusFuckingChrist Would you give me a break already? I've read a variety of erotica books and I do enjoy great smexin' that comes with some kind of depth and great characterization However I'm not sorry to say that FSoG is ranking among the worst erotica books I've ever readWhat's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoShit provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy I don't criticize readers who loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life or in the bedroom for that matter Seriously? Never Ever FSoG is bad erotica It's bad BDSM too When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality” then I think something is seriously wrong Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself with my very healthy hand and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs Thank you very much BTW my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker Oh yes now it dawns on memy boyfriend is realBottom line the barely there plot and the characters were overly shallow underdeveloped immature and boring The amateurish writing killed any desire to read anything else by this author in the future And last but not least my inner goddess was so fucking relieved when she had to uit eventually It was a very tedious and crappy experience and I wish I had never bought this book let alone attempted to go through this rubbish I was in dire need of bleaching my brainChristopher Hitchens said Everybody does have a book in them but in most cases that's where it should stay As a side note Warheart (Sword of Truth, los Christian führt Ana ein in eine dunkle gefährliche Welt der Liebe – in eine Welt vor der sie zurückschreckt und die sie doch mit unwiderstehlicher Kraft anzieh 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015“Sex is than an act of pleasure it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it And at this moment you're a part of them 
 Author unknown 

I've had a rather Bad Luck, Trouble, Death, and Vampire Sex long the gibson list of issues when I decided to abandon ship FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a paperback I would have burned the fucking offending thing It's a total mystery to me why this book ever saw the The Forked Tongue Revisited light of day because Bad Things in the Night let's face it the writing is incredibly juvenile The story and characters are extremely poorly written and I couldn't for the Mountain Man (Men of Lake Tahoe Series, life of me connect with the dumb clumsy naïve and immature heroine Also the slimy whacko didn't deserve to be called hero Christian is a highly manipulative abusive and stalker ish asshole His whispers didn't endear him to me either He came off as a total creep I honestly don't understand what Ana saw in him yet on the other hand I didn't get it why Christian would stalk that bland and vapid wallflower In any event these two deserved each other and Ana obviously enjoyed Grey's blunt and crude approachThe whole contract business was pretty much mind boggling I don't believe that a healthy and consensual Domsub relationship could be based upon such crappy and ridiculous rulesChristian the rich Superman sarcasm deflowered our wallflower in a way that's not even worthy of Diana (Sunfire, losing any words over that pathetic fuck So you did guess right I neither found the sex to be hot nor erotic AtAll Thus I'd better buy him a ticket to the next Mars expedition stat That would ensure that Mr Grey would not return to our cozy place called Mother EarthFSoG Blue Crush (Blue, lacked depth and emotion big time Except of disgust and anger I felt nothing towards these pathetic main protagonists and their fucked up trip bored me to tearsThe winking smileys irritated the hell outta me and all that inner goddess shit made me almost blow a fuse JesusFuckingChrist Would you give me a break already? I've read a variety of erotica books and I do enjoy great smexin' that comes with some kind of depth and great characterization However I'm not sorry to say that FSoG is ranking among the worst erotica books I've ever readWhat's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoShit provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy I don't criticize readers who At Home in India loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women The Woman in the Wall love to read and want in real War (The Four Horsemen, life or in the bedroom for that matter Seriously? Never Ever FSoG is bad erotica It's bad BDSM too When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality” then I think something is seriously wrong Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself with my very healthy hand and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs Thank you very much BTW my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker Oh yes now it dawns on memy boyfriend is realBottom Flight of the Piasa line the barely there plot and the characters were overly shallow underdeveloped immature and boring The amateurish writing killed any desire to read anything else by this author in the future And The Golden Vortex last but not El Jarron Azul least my inner goddess was so fucking relieved when she had to uit eventually It was a very tedious and crappy experience and I wish I had never bought this book Sovereign of Stars (The She-King, let alone attempted to go through this rubbish I was in dire need of bleaching my brainChristopher Hitchens said Everybody does have a book in them but in most cases that's where it should stay As a side note

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Fifty Shades of Grey

Sie ist 21 Literaturstudentin und in der Liebe nicht allzu erfahren Doch dann lernt Ana Steele den reichen und ebenso unverschämt selbstbewussten wie attraktiven Unternehmer Christian Grey bei You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame books I've read lately two stars instead of oneThank you EL James for proving to me there was something worth waiting for Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terribleNow hold up all you would be defenders I read this whole thing I did not skip anything I did not skim I read every word I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt You see I love erotica and I'm not ashamed to say that I both read as you see on my 2012 books I've already read two others and write it myself So I was thinking to myself oh maybe there's a possibility that even though this is a twi fiction rewrite and even though everyone makes fun of it it could still be a fun little guilty pleasure read that I can laugh along withNONONONOThis book is NOT eroticsexy funny even ironically endearing full of sexual taboosThis book IS repetitive plotless well you knew that painful to get through depicting manipulative controlling and self destructive as desirable how to not write a novel how to gain success by using other people's characters barely changing them and then laughing all the way to the bankMost people know about the twilight matchups so I'm not going to go into too much detail but it was actually uite sickening how lazy she was to change ANY story detailsBella Anastasia a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother then moved to Forks Vancouver Washington where her dad stepdad lives while her mother lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia She has a younger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her and whose dad is friends with her dad because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies and who gave her his old truck VW beetleEdward Christian who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia also adopted who live with their parents Carlisle Carrick really? CARRICK? We couldn't even change the first three letters? and Esme Grace Their father mother is a doctor Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia since in Twilight they already have a convenient different last name than the other CullensAlso he 'dazzles' herI can't even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn't change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different That was too hard TOO DAMN HARD The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it 'different' enough to publish as is It's uite disgustingAlright continuing on and once again I'm sure you've heard this already this book is terribly written Most notably the lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type He ran his hands through his hair I bit my lip He told me not to bite my lip Oh jeez He grabbed me by the chin to make me look up at him Holy crap I peeked up at him Lather rinse repeat Over And over And over For 500 pages Then there's the case of multiple personality disorder where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head The subconscious the one telling her she's not good enough and the inner goddess the one that's all into the sex It's strange because I'm also currently reading a book right now Deadline where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is literally insane and it's written almost the exact same way he talks back to his voice who presents herself in italics just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices It's funny because she's supposed to be completely normal and yet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane This is sense Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24“Through the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In black”What are these fragments four in a row What is this punctuation GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED Is this supposed to be poetry?Let me add some line breaks for poetic interestThrough the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me Smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In blackThat's almost betterLet's have another shall we from chapter 24 once “I didn't put that song on my iPod” he says casually and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway What? He knows what he's doing the bastard Who did? And I have to listen to Britney going on and on Whowho?The song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful Who? Who? I stare out the window my stomach churning Who?SAY WHO AGAIN BITCH JUST TRY IT I DARE YOUOkay and now maybe even worse than the writing oh hell nothing's worse than the writing nevermind is the lack of plot Now once again you already know this Do I even need to tell you nothing happens? Seeing as it's based off of a book where nothing happens you can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed even less happens Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight where I said in my page by page commentary below that 50 Shades was entertaining I was at the very beginning I was young and naïve I didn't realize I'm sorry You know how The Office kind of got bad after Jim and Pam got together because there was really nothing you were waiting for after that? This happens by likechapter 2 You're likeokaywhat now we jut have to watch them whine as a couple for the next zillion pages? Okay I can't even fathom that there are two other books written about this couple I literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this bookAnd now for a bit of tiddlybits I'm going to share some information on storywriting that you guys might find interesting and will help show exactly why 50 Shades has zero plot I went to school for film and we had story development classes One thing we were beaten over the head with about is something called the 7 Sentence Story This will help for any writers that are writing their books to be cinematic or would like their novel to be considered for film purposes this is by no means a rule but a really helpful guideline First you need a problem a conflict A reason to tell a story Once you have that your plot should be able to be described in seven sentences thuslyExposition we are introduced to the protagonist andor main charactersInciting Incident something happens that kicks off the conflict the whole point of the storyPlot Point 1 because of the inciting incident character sets off to do somethingcorrect the problem etcMidpoint here in film you might see a montage but it's a place where either plot point 1 is resolved or there is a transition in the characters way of thinkingPlot Point 2 often an even bigger issue arises or a twist that changes or accelerates the conflictClimax final showdown or decisions needed to be madeResolution everything comes to an end the conflict is settled in one way or anotherBasically if you can tell your story in this way in seven sentences you'll know that A the main point is clear B that your story doesn't wander too much in different directions and C that you actually have a plot to stand on that you can justify there's enough substance there And since that's a lot of vagueness we'll go with a classic captivedominant story to show how one tells a story in seven sentences Disney's Beauty and the Beast First the main conflictConflict The prince has been turned into a beast and has only a limited time left before he is trapped forever as oneAnd the seven sentence story Exposition Belle is a smart girl who rejects the advances of Gaston as she doesn't want to be stuck in a mundane lifeInciting Incident Belle's father gets lost and captured by the Beast in his castlePlot Point 1 Belle trades her freedom for her father and is prisoner in the castleMidpoint Belle starts to experience feelings for the Beast and is complacentPlot Point 2 Belle's father is sick and the Beast decides to let her go even though he's giving up his chances of being with herClimax Gaston comes with an angry mob to destroy the BeastResolution While Beast lays dying his love for Belle turns him back into a human and he can live with her happily ever after Simple right? Of course other things happen but no doubt you can communicate the main story with just these sentences Okay so let's try 50 Shades which hilariously has had its film rights bought already Conflict Anastasia must decide whether to be with a guy who she thinks is super hot but also scares her This fascinating decision I tell you whatExposition Anastasia is a literary student at WSUInciting Incident Anastasia meets Christian on page 7 and thinks he's hot and mysterious and also frustrating It is clear they both have chemistryPlot Point 1 which is sloppy and all over the place Christian chases her down brings her to his house and shows her he's into SM Also they have sexSorta Midpoint but kind of suished close to Plot Point 1 Anastasia must decide whether to pledge herself to him via contract if she wants to continue seeing him Plot Point 2 Nah she's still deciding and whining about how he's kind of scary but continues to have sex with him throughout this whole time There is no plot point 2Climax Well there isn't really one it's just kind of an all over the place endingeither the complicated sex scene at the end with the hymnal music or him hitting with her with the belt the next morning one of the two I guessResolution She says he's too weird and ends it What a complex thrilling and incredible plot full of depth SHOULD I HAVE CUT THAT FOR SPOILERS? OOPS? Did you even care? If you've gotten this far nopeBut guess what We know that there are two other books and they get together and lesson isn't really learned so AWESOME COOL I guess that's how she gets people to buy the next ones because hot diggedy I can't wait to see them get back together and whine some And let's talk about the sex for a moment Nothing forbidden actually happens that you'll be like ohhhh how scandalous I want to try that For the most part it's pretty much all basic stuff or basic toy play because basically he's taking it easier on her since she's inexperienced Except for the belt part at the end I guess which just doesn't sound funAnd you already heard about the tampon so like that's not even a surprise although imo it's not a big deal anyway Out of all the women having sex on their periods regularly I can guarantee you there are uite a few men that are tasked with taking the tampon out and throwing it aside I was actually upset about the fact that she is sleeping completely naked in a hotel room bed on day two of her period As if that isn't going to be a mess in the morningOkay lest I go on as long as the book you get the point If you want to see my commentary while reading it is below However a few things I cannot stand how much the author being middle aged shows from the point of view of this 21 year old “I'm gonna buy plane ticketson the Internet” ARE YOU NOW? WHOAOOOAOAOA Don't get crazy on us I might be too overwhelmed by this turn of events “I fired up my email” BLAZING SPEEDS REUIRED They actually do the “you hang up” “no you hang up” “no you” that gross couples tend to do And it was expectedly gross Someone on ONTD who liked this book yelled at me because I said that Christian is not a dominant they also said I wasn't 'experienced enough to understand' lol okay like you know who I am anon I still stand by that statement It's not what he's doing it's how he's doing it He is deeply troubled whiny and manipulative and while he does love control it's for the wrong reasons He was abused as a child and sexually abused as a 15 year old and vastly denies it and because of this he justifies his activities as personal preference when he is in fact a bit too fucked up to currently have a relationship He ends up making the naïve Anastasia batshit crazy because he continues to string her along trying to convince her they want the same things instead of getting himself some help He gives her the illusion that she has the choice to back out but then turns around and says ha ha I'm joking but I know where to find you by the way She goes to visit her mother because she needs a break from him to think and what does he do? Flies out there using his roundabout stalker way of finding information about where she's at like he always does to meet up have sex with her and take her out with him She's supposed to be visiting her mother and having time to think yet he can't stay away and makes this about HIM taking her away from time with her mom whom she hasn't seen in 6 months I can't at this selfish fucking bastard because he just can't stay awayIt makes me mad just thinking about someone that clingy Which is another thing that pisses me off almost everything about their whining and relationship conversations reminds me of everything I've hated about past relationships I've had How does ANYONE enjoy this book? How does anyone think that this is sexy that this depicts something they want?I can't evenI cannotAlso I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl rage courses through my bodyI'm bored Someone get me out of herePS Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?CoolPlease do yourself a favor and go buy a book of much higher uality plot and writing ohhhh likeModelland Kujibiki Unbalance 1 (Kujibiki Unbalance, lernt Ana Steele den reichen und ebenso unverschämt selbstbewussten wie attraktiven Unternehmer Christian Grey bei You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the Daddys Trailer Park Slut lame books I've read A Killer Stitch (A Knitting Mystery, lately two stars instead of oneThank you EL James for proving to me there was something worth waiting for Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terribleNow hold up all you would be defenders I read this whole thing I did not skip anything I did not skim I read every word I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt You see I The Handbook of Medicinal Chemistry love erotica and I'm not ashamed to say that I both read as you see on my 2012 books I've already read two others and write it myself So I was thinking to myself oh maybe there's a possibility that even though this is a twi fiction rewrite and even though everyone makes fun of it it could still be a fun They Say little guilty pleasure read that I can The Auctioneer laugh along withNONONONOThis book is NOT eroticsexy funny even ironically endearing full of sexual taboosThis book IS repetitive plotless well you knew that painful to get through depicting manipulative controlling and self destructive as desirable how to not write a novel how to gain success by using other people's characters barely changing them and then SEO like a PRO - A Beginners Guide to Search Engine Optimization laughing all the way to the bankMost people know about the twilight matchups so I'm not going to go into too much detail but it was actually uite sickening how The Naughty Corner lazy she was to change ANY story detailsBella Anastasia a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother then moved to Forks Vancouver Washington where her dad stepdad Resist (Wicked Ways Book 1) lives while her mother Epilogue lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia She has a younger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her and whose dad is friends with her dad because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies and who gave her his old truck VW beetleEdward Christian who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia also adopted who The Horseshoe People live with their parents Carlisle Carrick really? CARRICK? We couldn't even change the first three Nyotai-Ka! Volume 4 letters? and Esme Grace Their father mother is a doctor Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia since in Twilight they already have a convenient different Immunologic Concepts in Transfusion Medicine last name than the other CullensAlso he 'dazzles' herI can't even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn't change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different That was too hard TOO DAMN HARD The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it 'different' enough to publish as is It's uite disgustingAlright continuing on and once again I'm sure you've heard this already this book is terribly written Most notably the The LEGO BOOST Idea Book: 95 Simple Robots and Clever Contraptions lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type He ran his hands through his hair I bit my Alice in the Country of Joker lip He told me not to bite my Intrepid Comics lip Oh jeez He grabbed me by the chin to make me The Road to Blue Ribbon Baking look up at him Holy crap I peeked up at him Lather rinse repeat Over And over And over For 500 pages Then there's the case of multiple personality disorder where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head The subconscious the one telling her she's not good enough and the inner goddess the one that's all into the sex It's strange because I'm also currently reading a book right now Deadline where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is Evidence of Things Unseen literally insane and it's written almost the exact same way he talks back to his voice who presents herself in italics just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices It's funny because she's supposed to be completely normal and yet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane This is sense Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24“Through the haze of Witchs Guide to Gardening light I suint and see Christian Ceo leaning over me smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In black”What are these fragments four in a row What is this punctuation GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED Is this supposed to be poetry?Let me add some Autism and My Life line breaks for poetic interestThrough the haze of Making Every Photon Count light I suint and see Christian Simple Sourdough leaning over me Smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In blackThat's almost betterLet's have another shall we from chapter 24 once “I didn't put that song on my iPod” he says casually and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway What? He knows what he's doing the bastard Who did? And I have to Tornado Alley listen to Britney going on and on Whowho?The song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful Who? Who? I stare out the window my stomach churning Who?SAY WHO AGAIN BITCH JUST TRY IT I DARE YOUOkay and now maybe even worse than the writing oh hell nothing's worse than the writing nevermind is the Fables lack of plot Now once again you already know this Do I even need to tell you nothing happens? Seeing as it's based off of a book where nothing happens you can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed even Hard Reset (Time Loop, less happens Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight where I said in my page by page commentary below that 50 Shades was entertaining I was at the very beginning I was young and naïve I didn't realize I'm sorry You know how The Office kind of got bad after Jim and Pam got together because there was really nothing you were waiting for after that? This happens by People, Places, and Things likechapter 2 You're This View of Life: Completing the Darwinian Revolution likeokaywhat now we jut have to watch them whine as a couple for the next zillion pages? Okay I can't even fathom that there are two other books written about this couple I Amy Winehouse Lioness literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this bookAnd now for a bit of tiddlybits I'm going to share some information on storywriting that you guys might find interesting and will help show exactly why 50 Shades has zero plot I went to school for film and we had story development classes One thing we were beaten over the head with about is something called the 7 Sentence Story This will help for any writers that are writing their books to be cinematic or would Shadow Castle like their novel to be considered for film purposes this is by no means a rule but a really helpful guideline First you need a problem a conflict A reason to tell a story Once you have that your plot should be able to be described in seven sentences thuslyExposition we are introduced to the protagonist andor main charactersInciting Incident something happens that kicks off the conflict the whole point of the storyPlot Point 1 because of the inciting incident character sets off to do somethingcorrect the problem etcMidpoint here in film you might see a montage but it's a place where either plot point 1 is resolved or there is a transition in the characters way of thinkingPlot Point 2 often an even bigger issue arises or a twist that changes or accelerates the conflictClimax final showdown or decisions needed to be madeResolution everything comes to an end the conflict is settled in one way or anotherBasically if you can tell your story in this way in seven sentences you'll know that A the main point is clear B that your story doesn't wander too much in different directions and C that you actually have a plot to stand on that you can justify there's enough substance there And since that's a Princess Tamer 2: A LitRPG Harem Adventure lot of vagueness we'll go with a classic captivedominant story to show how one tells a story in seven sentences Disney's Beauty and the Beast First the main conflictConflict The prince has been turned into a beast and has only a The Cullen Legacy limited time Back To You (Back To You, left before he is trapped forever as oneAnd the seven sentence story Exposition Belle is a smart girl who rejects the advances of Gaston as she doesn't want to be stuck in a mundane In Rides Trouble (Black Knights Inc., lifeInciting Incident Belle's father gets Self-Shadowing Prey lost and captured by the Beast in his castlePlot Point 1 Belle trades her freedom for her father and is prisoner in the castleMidpoint Belle starts to experience feelings for the Beast and is complacentPlot Point 2 Belle's father is sick and the Beast decides to プラチナエンド 9 [Platina End 9] (Platinum End, let her go even though he's giving up his chances of being with herClimax Gaston comes with an angry mob to destroy the BeastResolution While Beast Amazon Alexa: Amazon Alexa: Advanced User Guide: Step By Step to Enrich Your Smart Life ( alexa, alexa echo, alexa instructions, amazon dot, echo, echo dot manual, echo show, echo spot, amazon tap) lays dying his Istio in Action love for Belle turns him back into a human and he can Amateur Night live with her happily ever after Simple right? Of course other things happen but no doubt you can communicate the main story with just these sentences Okay so Prevalence of Drug Use in the Washington, DC, Metropolitan Area Homeless and Transient Population, 1991 let's try 50 Shades which hilariously has had its film rights bought already Conflict Anastasia must decide whether to be with a guy who she thinks is super hot but also scares her This fascinating decision I tell you whatExposition Anastasia is a أغاني عشتار literary student at WSUInciting Incident Anastasia meets Christian on page 7 and thinks he's hot and mysterious and also frustrating It is clear they both have chemistryPlot Point 1 which is sloppy and all over the place Christian chases her down brings her to his house and shows her he's into SM Also they have sexSorta Midpoint but kind of suished close to Plot Point 1 Anastasia must decide whether to pledge herself to him via contract if she wants to continue seeing him Plot Point 2 Nah she's still deciding and whining about how he's kind of scary but continues to have sex with him throughout this whole time There is no plot point 2Climax Well there isn't really one it's just kind of an all over the place endingeither the complicated sex scene at the end with the hymnal music or him hitting with her with the belt the next morning one of the two I guessResolution She says he's too weird and ends it What a complex thrilling and incredible plot full of depth SHOULD I HAVE CUT THAT FOR SPOILERS? OOPS? Did you even care? If you've gotten this far nopeBut guess what We know that there are two other books and they get together and Falcon Guard (Legend of the Jade Phoenix Trilogy, lesson isn't really Pebbles of Perception learned so AWESOME COOL I guess that's how she gets people to buy the next ones because hot diggedy I can't wait to see them get back together and whine some And Roman Keycard Blackwood let's talk about the sex for a moment Nothing forbidden actually happens that you'll be ...And The Stars Fell Silent like ohhhh how scandalous I want to try that For the most part it's pretty much all basic stuff or basic toy play because basically he's taking it easier on her since she's inexperienced Except for the belt part at the end I guess which just doesn't sound funAnd you already heard about the tampon so Top Chef Contestants like that's not even a surprise although imo it's not a big deal anyway Out of all the women having sex on their periods regularly I can guarantee you there are uite a few men that are tasked with taking the tampon out and throwing it aside I was actually upset about the fact that she is sleeping completely naked in a hotel room bed on day two of her period As if that isn't going to be a mess in the morningOkay Atmospheres and Oceans on Computers lest I go on as The Brutal Truth long as the book you get the point If you want to see my commentary while reading it is below However a few things I cannot stand how much the author being middle aged shows from the point of view of this 21 year old “I'm gonna buy plane ticketson the Internet” ARE YOU NOW? WHOAOOOAOAOA Don't get crazy on us I might be too overwhelmed by this turn of events “I fired up my email” BLAZING SPEEDS REUIRED They actually do the “you hang up” “no you hang up” “no you” that gross couples tend to do And it was expectedly gross Someone on ONTD who Death March on Mount Hakkoda liked this book yelled at me because I said that Christian is not a dominant they also said I wasn't 'experienced enough to understand' Casanovas Secret Wife lol okay War of 1812 in the Champlain Valley like you know who I am anon I still stand by that statement It's not what he's doing it's how he's doing it He is deeply troubled whiny and manipulative and while he does Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Creatures love control it's for the wrong reasons He was abused as a child and sexually abused as a 15 year old and vastly denies it and because of this he justifies his activities as personal preference when he is in fact a bit too fucked up to currently have a relationship He ends up making the naïve Anastasia batshit crazy because he continues to string her along trying to convince her they want the same things instead of getting himself some help He gives her the illusion that she has the choice to back out but then turns around and says ha ha I'm joking but I know where to find you by the way She goes to visit her mother because she needs a break from him to think and what does he do? Flies out there using his roundabout stalker way of finding information about where she's at Loncheras al Rescate like he always does to meet up have sex with her and take her out with him She's supposed to be visiting her mother and having time to think yet he can't stay away and makes this about HIM taking her away from time with her mom whom she hasn't seen in 6 months I can't at this selfish fucking bastard because he just can't stay awayIt makes me mad just thinking about someone that clingy Which is another thing that pisses me off almost everything about their whining and relationship conversations reminds me of everything I've hated about past relationships I've had How does ANYONE enjoy this book? How does anyone think that this is sexy that this depicts something they want?I can't evenI cannotAlso I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl rage courses through my bodyI'm bored Someone get me out of herePS Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?CoolPlease do yourself a favor and go buy a book of much higher uality plot and writing ohhhh New York Trilogy Whodunit? likeModelland

REVIEW Ù TOBERMOREDRIVEWAYS.CO.UK Ø E.L. James

Einem Interview für ihre Uni Zeitung kennen Und möchte ihn eigentlich schnellstmöglich wieder vergessen denn die Begegnung mit ihm hat sie zutiefst verwirrt So sehr sie sich aber darum bemüh In the words of Miss Steele You need to sort your shit out Grey Good day sir Fifty Shades of Grey like Fifty shades of fucked up nonsense rolls eyes I should get a medal for just finishing this tripe I honestly do NOT feel like revisiting this book and writing a review I’d rather spend the time searching for ways to remove this utter nonsense from my memory However this book is so bad that I feel the need to warn others from this drivel Luckily I did not buy this garbage I do not even know what overcame me to read it and I can only blame a momentary lack of judgment on my partWhat baffles me is the scary fangirlgasm following this book So what’s causing it a hit? I can only come up with ‘twilight’ Doing some research this book was originally posted online as a twilight fanfic Yes a twilight fanfic The fact that this book’s source material isn’t a good piece of literature just shows what you should expect from this book And dubbing it a twilight fanfic and promoting it as such is no doubt raising the bar on the sale figures What has the world come to? headdesk Whatever’s causing its success; I can safely say it can’t be the book itselfEverything you could possibly imagine is wrong with this book The execution and the characters And the writing And the plot wait was there one?? Firstly it has been said a countless number of times how abusive Bella and Edward’s relationship was And it is arguably the most anti feminist portrayal of any relationship FSoG simply continues this unhealthy view and promotes an even abusive and degrading relationship towards women targeting older women and possibly even teenage girls who know no better Oh dear god I hope teenage girls do not jump on this disturbing bandwagon Surely it is degrading to ask a woman to sign a contract where ‘she is now the property of the Dominant to be dealt with as the Dominant pleases’ and ‘submitting herself to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominantwithout hesitation or argument’ – especially when you take into consideration the fact that she would be signing up to something she has not yet experienced and knows little about as she is still a virgin This is not something that should be promoted as desirable or idealistic This book cheapens what feminists have fought for years Don’t get me wrong I wouldn't deprive women of their right to express themselves sexually nor to act upon their desires but I shudder at the thought of women aspiring to a relationship where she will take part in various things that she is not comfortable with and at times even when she’s genuinely in fear of taking part simply because she finds the guy ‘hot’The plot I’m not even sure if there was one 50% of the book is spent talking about sexthe contract and the other 50% is made up of clumsily written sex scenes view spoilerFSoG starts of with Anastasia Steele agreeing to interview the billionaire Christian Grey Miss Steele is instantly captivated by Mr Grey’s dashing looks and within 2 days she falls in love with him Mr Grey for some unfathomable reason can’t keep away from her and reveals to her his secret kinky lifestyle The two spend the rest of the romantic evening calmly discussing the contract that allows him to fuck her senseless She reveals to him that she’s a virgin and his only response he needs to handle that ‘situation’ Really?? The next 4 days he gets to do exactly what he wants he stalks her abuses her and punishes her by spanking her several times uotes that spring to mind – “Please don’t hit medon’t be angry with medon’t want you to spank me” Aww isn’t that romantic? Atleast she finally sees some sense and walks out hide spoiler